It is not uncommon to experience quarrels and inner turmoil due to different perspectives and understandings. One of the great challenges for the person trying to imitate the pattern Jesus left for us, is that we sometimes justify our feelings and actions even after we have been shown that our thoughts are rooted in selfishness, jealousy or strife. Rather than humbly acknowledging to ourselves that our perceptions are not always right and that we are getting upset for nothing, we become bitter that someone would think differently or suggest another approach that is different from ours. We need to allow for differences as long as the differences are allowed by the Lord. For the Christian, how we think is controlled by the influence of the Spirit through the Word, the Bible. Paul writes, “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, (2 Cor. 10:5, English Standard Version). Therefore, to argue that anyone’s thoughts are just as good as another’s is not warranted if those thoughts are not supported by Christ.

 To illustrate what happens to us when our desires are not approved by the Lord or others, consider Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-41. Verses 40-42 read as follows, “But Martha was cumbered about much serving; and she came up to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister did leave me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. But the Lord answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art anxious and troubled about many things: but one thing is needful: for Mary hath chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Many women can relate to Martha and would appreciate Martha’s concern because they have the same values of hospitality as she expressed here.

 As we evaluate the Lord’s response to her request, we need to realize that we are all challenged to change our thinking rather than stubbornly refuse to examine ourselves and proceed to convince everyone around us that we are right. First, Martha’s desire was not a bad desire. Being hospitable and a kind hostess is a good thing. This can be seen from the use of the Lord’s statement about Mary choosing the “better” part. The comparison is not between right and wrong but between “good” and “better.” Second, we can also assume that Martha would have rather been with Jesus than serving her guests. Otherwise, we would conclude that she had no interest in the presence of Jesus and the celebration surrounding her brother’s resurrection. This was no small occurrence and to suggest that she would rather be doing something else is not sound reasoning. She probably wanted to be where Mary was – at Jesus’ feet. But, she chose to do what she thought was the right thing to do. Third, not only did she make her choice, but she believed it should have been Mary’s choice, also. When Martha complained about Mary not doing as she had done, Jesus pointed out that Mary’s choice was the best and that he was not going to take that away from her by making her help Martha.

 We do not know what follows this dialogue. We do not know if she continued or if she joined Mary. If Martha decided that someone had to serve the group and thought this to be more important, she was probably confused that the Lord did not understand her predicament (“dost thou not care that my sister did leave me to serve alone?”) and insist that Mary join her. Furthermore, if she continued to serve, and Jesus had referred to Mary’s choice as “better,” she may have resented that Mary is keeping her from the better part by not assisting her so she could join them quicker. This is clearly a complaint against Mary and the fact that she is encouraged to stay in His company causes her some “trouble” and “anxiety.” This illustrates the tendency toward bitterness when our way is not accepted. Mary chose wisely (“the good part). Martha did not. Then, when our choice is shown to be less than perfect even though we do not concur, we have a tendency toward bitterness.

 If Martha walked over to Jesus and sat down beside him, as we would like to think she did, she would have learned a valuable lesson. He had given her the answer to her problem, which was to choose the better thing. However, we fear that she is like so many of us. Lacking understanding and disagreeing with the choice of Mary, she chose the “bitter” thing. In the same manner, God wants us to choose what He desires according to His priorities. As we to conform our thoughts to be like his, He is pleased and we are made better, not bitter.